Tuesday, December 22, 2009

questioning life

So I cleaned my yiayia's house this morning. And got a dental thingo. Mum thought I would have to get braces but turns out I dont. The dentist asked if my teeth bothered me. I said no. So he said he doesnt like to do braces on people who dont care cuz they dont take care of their teeth or something. But whatever. I dont mind either way.

So I've been thinking really hard about some things in my life. Like me. How I am as a person. What I want for my future. Who I want to spend my future with. Stuff like that. Pretty heavy stuff. And I've made my decision to wait. I need to grow, others need to grow. There is a lot of room for improvement. I'm not cutting anyone out of my life. Just taking it slow. But I want everyone to know that its my decision. Its not based on what anyone else wants. Its my life and I have to live with it. Thats why I want people to know that I'm making the decision. I want to make it for myself, not for anyone else. I want to get to the end of my life and have no regrets. I want to look back 20 years from now and be happy with my choices. I want to make the choice because then I am wholly responsible. I cant blame anyone else. I dont want to get used to blaming someone else.

I guess there is many things I dont want to get used to. things like. lying. death. loneliness. blaming others. etc.

So...on a lighter note. I saw abi and carlo yesterday in the shop. Pretty cool. lol.

Also I wanted to say a very big thank you to a very special friend of mine. Recently she told me how much I meant to her. (Hopefully it was me she was talking about ;] ) Thanks for having my back. You know so much about me and thanks for reminding me how much I'm loved. You dont understand how timely that was :) Love you very muchly.

So now that I have everything off my chest I must be off.

Nails done this arvo after 3 weeks (regrowth looks disgusting) stupid pastors christmas dinner tonight (I have no idea what to wear as the fashion/spiritual police will be there....hmmm elle can I borrow an outfit lol....I think you'll know exactly what I should wear) and then like 2 days until CHRISTMAS! Yay! How exciting :)

much love

10:4

1 comment:

  1. It was definitely about you.
    I'm so proud of you babe, I know it's not an easy decision for you to make. I really respect your reasoning and not letting people pressure you.

    You should've told me earlier! I have the perfect outfit! ;-)

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