gone

I kinda feel like I dont fit anymore.

like the space I used to slot into so easily is getting smaller

Castle of Bones

Watched the series final of Bones and Castle
Both ended with the love tensions (if that what you call it) building up and coming crashing down in one and left with a question mark in the other.
Beckett lost her chance
and Brennan realised what she was going to miss

I hate endings like that

when you promise you wont do it again

itsnt it funny how old habits die hard.
you know I'm really sucking at this whole blogging thing...
half the time I dont know what to say as I have nothing interesting to talk about. lol
well I do but I dont want to. lols cuz it would always sound like im complaining. hahaha, which I have been told I do quite often.
anyways, I have nothing of interest to say
off to study
yay :(

much love

10:4

formspring.me

Ask me anything. http://formspring.me/princessstinky

When your comments dont work

elle. Was trying to comment your dream post and its not letting me.
stupid poor internet at my tiny uni
So in light of elles earlier comment I am going to write something uplifting.

ummm.....things are better. :) and I can smell pumpkin. wishing I could eat it.

honestly I have nothing of interest to say.

i only just passed my education essay which means I'll have to work my butt off for the 125 question multiple choice exam. kill me know.

and you wonder why I have nothing positive to say lols

much love

10:4

So. No post for quite some time.

I really dont have anything interesting to say. Just though I would post as I have been neglecting this poor little blog for some time.

Uni is good.
Work is good.
Life stinks.
But what can you do.
Life goes on :)

much love

10:4

am i wrong?

How do you know when your wrong?

I have had a major love for a while now, and only know am I being bombarded with; "you can do better"

Why didnt you tell me all this BEFORE I got so attached.

Is someone's worth really attached to what job they do, if and what they study?

Am I a better person because I go to uni?

Am I better because I have iniciative?

Someone develops those attributes.

If you claim someone is a no hoper does that mean you give up on them? Are they not worth your time?

I'm going to be a teacher in 4 years. Does that mean I give up on the student who is only going to drop out as soon as they can?

Why cant I be trusted to make the right decision?

Why do I get told that 'if you do....we will not approve....but you know, its your life and your decision.'
Yeah, your not manipulating me at all.

Screw what I think.



10:4

Ideas needed

Wanting to make my 'mr ebay reject' blog more interesting/inviting. I also want to make the items look more 'buyable' (i know elle thats not a word)

So your ideas would be very muchly appreciated :)

much love

ari xoxox

wisdom

mum said I was actually talking sense today! Story goes: we were talking about a family friend who was complaining about her daughter who just turned 13. And she was complaining that she wanted to wear her skirt to school really short. and I was like, 'i think if you explained to her that she looked like a slut then she wouldnt do it' - but in a few more words of course. And mum was like wow your talking sense whats wrong? and I was just like well, i think studying child development has helped me understand how the brain works. not that were total slaves to our brains and dont understand anything apart from that. but in the teen years the reason and understanding of conciquences gets overriden by impulse and wants in the brain. not that we are exempt from responsibility but sometimes we just cant understand.

anyway, mum was pretty impressed. and its hard to get a compliment from her. and i succeeded! :) yay me

well hope you all liked your lesson on child development for the day :)

much love

10:4

???????????

Sometimes you can walk along in life and all you feel like saying is why the hell is this happening

Does life ever un-screw itself up? Can I write a good assignment the day before? Will I feel weird returning to a place that was home but now I cant figure out what it is? Does the feeling of limbo ever fade? Was someone really your best friend when they dont even tell you they gave birth to their first kid? How can you not know a person who you've known since you were four? Why cant parents be like in the movies, even just for a day? Why to people get on your nerves when you like being their friend so much? Why do girls compare themselves to others? Why cant I talk to him if he makes me feel better? Will I ever be able to make my own decisions? Does wishing on a star work? Are dreams really wishes your heart makes? Does crime always end neatly like on tv? Why do I do things I am ashamed of? Why do I feel responsible for my parents screw ups? Why is life so freaking complicated? Do seasons in life ever end? Do things get better? Will I ever feel like things are ok? Will it work itself out like I've always told myself? Why do adults hold grudges? Why teach us to forgive when you cant do it yourself? Why cant some people get over their pride? Why is my hair so dry? (ok that was random) How does my best friend tolerate my problems? Why do people let past hurts dictate the future? If I've forgiven why do I still struggle with the pain? Why do I want to get married so early? Why do I crave security when I have a stable home and family? Why do I feel like I'm not changing as a person? Why do I sometimes feel worthless when I know I am loved and valued by heaps? Why do I crave affirmation? Why do I pretend everything is ok when I feel like I'm going to burst from the pressure? Why am I afriad to express how I really feel? Why do I miss him so much when I havnt even spoken or seen? When will the bitch of rainbow get here...the rain is just getting harder ><

I think after that rant I've come to the conclusion that one day everything will be fine. And this will all just seem like a stupid emotional spat :P Maybe one day I'll have the answers and maybe one day I wont. Either way...the sun will rise tomorrow and I'll be one step closer to getting older. And one day away from all the crap thats hit the fan.

much love

10:4

why I love blacktown and listening in

so on the train to uni this morning I overheard 3 ex-prisoners (from b-town yaw!) talking about which judge is the best for letting them off. lol...thanks guys now I know next time i'm in court.

Also what was interesting was how they graded their crimes....'I was only driving while suspended' yeah...no big deal...I mean you could have been drink driving, or worse.....driving without a licence....lol...it was the funniest thing I have ever heard in my life.

Also I know there is a certain judge that you 'never lie to' cuz man if she finds out your gone....lol

So I'm at uni and I'm supposed to be doing my assignment thats due wednesday and growing my virtual child...but reading the lady's essay next to me is so much more fun! it's on potato storage....lol....what is higher education coming to???

Anyways, I better go do some work :)

much love

10:4

whyyawannabringmedown?

hmmm yeah just finished listening to that song

ok i have nothing of significance to say

so I grew my child to age 8 this arvo

I have to have him to 18 by the end of next week ><

raising a child is hard

and sometimes there really annoying :P

I wonder if the virtual world is anything like the real thing. For some reason you get attached. Yeah its an internet program but you feel a part of the little person and the responsibility is insane. You know I would love a kid. Hard work. And he wouldnt get to age 18 in 2 weeks. lol. Virtual world children can teach you a lot I guess. A bit like real children??

much love

10:4

ps: elle check out the subtitle of this blog http://agurley.blogspot.com/?expref=next-blog ;) the phrase is popping up everywhere!!!

Best Friends

Maybe the best way to do things sometimes is to be best friends. first.

and see how things go from there.

wish things could just let go an life would just take its course.

like I said to a friend the other day

'if its meant to be, it'll work itself out'

much love

10:4

hmmm

I have an obsession with the Yahoo! website OMG.

There is something about seeing celebs in imperfect dresses and even liking some of the frocks that feature in the 'what were they thinking?' photo galleries.

what is it?

much love


10:4

stuff boys

boys are not worth your time

and there always full of crap

(this is the PG version of what i would really like to say)

much love

10:4

Expectations

You know when you have a friend and you havnt seen them in ages and then you want to talk to them about something and you just want someone to say 'its ok, everything will work out fine' and you think that this person knows that but then they give you a superficial answer like 'trust god and listen to your parents' and then they go on to talk about how amazing their life is at the moment.

Yeah well that hurts.

'When your world is full of strange arrangements
And gravity wont pull you through
You know youre missing out on something
Well that something depends on you...Then your dreams fall apart at the seams'

(From a song I'm obsessed with at the moment)

much love



10:4

Things I learnt and Christmas songs

I LOVE listening to Christmas carols out of season. I think they are the best worship songs around. Glorifying God in a really special way. Its weird but I love it.

I also wanted to note some of the things I learnt at uni this week

1. dont turn up to lectures early if you all your friends have dropped out of uni you only end up looking like a loner. Yes we all know you are one but save your pride and turn up to lectures late.
2. you'll be surprised that just when you thought you were loney in uni land a random you met in your tutorial will tap you on the back and drag you to sit with her
3. saying the name felix is funny
4. felix means happy
5. walking hurts when you never do any exercise
6. I hate eftpos limits...i have the right to use my card to buy something for $2 ok!? (seriously who uses cash these days!)
7. umm girls are highly emotional

and a list of things I learnt today

1. dont invite people you dont like to a concert cuz you think they wont come, cuz they will its like karma or something
2. asain girls named eloise do not look the same in real life as I imagined. (they dont dress like schoolgirls for one)

Anyway as you can see it has been an insightful week :)

much love

10:4

tumblr

transferred my picture shuffle through to a tumblr

check it out

http://awesomenessrevised.tumblr.com/

much love

10:4

Next

Elle gave me this one...always makes me go hehe :)

Shes back from the dead

This is eleanor.

Like the elle-phant (he he) at taronga zoo she is back from the dead ;)