???????????

Sometimes you can walk along in life and all you feel like saying is why the hell is this happening

Does life ever un-screw itself up? Can I write a good assignment the day before? Will I feel weird returning to a place that was home but now I cant figure out what it is? Does the feeling of limbo ever fade? Was someone really your best friend when they dont even tell you they gave birth to their first kid? How can you not know a person who you've known since you were four? Why cant parents be like in the movies, even just for a day? Why to people get on your nerves when you like being their friend so much? Why do girls compare themselves to others? Why cant I talk to him if he makes me feel better? Will I ever be able to make my own decisions? Does wishing on a star work? Are dreams really wishes your heart makes? Does crime always end neatly like on tv? Why do I do things I am ashamed of? Why do I feel responsible for my parents screw ups? Why is life so freaking complicated? Do seasons in life ever end? Do things get better? Will I ever feel like things are ok? Will it work itself out like I've always told myself? Why do adults hold grudges? Why teach us to forgive when you cant do it yourself? Why cant some people get over their pride? Why is my hair so dry? (ok that was random) How does my best friend tolerate my problems? Why do people let past hurts dictate the future? If I've forgiven why do I still struggle with the pain? Why do I want to get married so early? Why do I crave security when I have a stable home and family? Why do I feel like I'm not changing as a person? Why do I sometimes feel worthless when I know I am loved and valued by heaps? Why do I crave affirmation? Why do I pretend everything is ok when I feel like I'm going to burst from the pressure? Why am I afriad to express how I really feel? Why do I miss him so much when I havnt even spoken or seen? When will the bitch of rainbow get here...the rain is just getting harder ><

I think after that rant I've come to the conclusion that one day everything will be fine. And this will all just seem like a stupid emotional spat :P Maybe one day I'll have the answers and maybe one day I wont. Either way...the sun will rise tomorrow and I'll be one step closer to getting older. And one day away from all the crap thats hit the fan.

much love

10:4