stuff boys

boys are not worth your time

and there always full of crap

(this is the PG version of what i would really like to say)

much love

10:4

Expectations

You know when you have a friend and you havnt seen them in ages and then you want to talk to them about something and you just want someone to say 'its ok, everything will work out fine' and you think that this person knows that but then they give you a superficial answer like 'trust god and listen to your parents' and then they go on to talk about how amazing their life is at the moment.

Yeah well that hurts.

'When your world is full of strange arrangements
And gravity wont pull you through
You know youre missing out on something
Well that something depends on you...Then your dreams fall apart at the seams'

(From a song I'm obsessed with at the moment)

much love



10:4

Things I learnt and Christmas songs

I LOVE listening to Christmas carols out of season. I think they are the best worship songs around. Glorifying God in a really special way. Its weird but I love it.

I also wanted to note some of the things I learnt at uni this week

1. dont turn up to lectures early if you all your friends have dropped out of uni you only end up looking like a loner. Yes we all know you are one but save your pride and turn up to lectures late.
2. you'll be surprised that just when you thought you were loney in uni land a random you met in your tutorial will tap you on the back and drag you to sit with her
3. saying the name felix is funny
4. felix means happy
5. walking hurts when you never do any exercise
6. I hate eftpos limits...i have the right to use my card to buy something for $2 ok!? (seriously who uses cash these days!)
7. umm girls are highly emotional

and a list of things I learnt today

1. dont invite people you dont like to a concert cuz you think they wont come, cuz they will its like karma or something
2. asain girls named eloise do not look the same in real life as I imagined. (they dont dress like schoolgirls for one)

Anyway as you can see it has been an insightful week :)

much love

10:4

tumblr

transferred my picture shuffle through to a tumblr

check it out

http://awesomenessrevised.tumblr.com/

much love

10:4

Next

Elle gave me this one...always makes me go hehe :)

Shes back from the dead

This is eleanor.

Like the elle-phant (he he) at taronga zoo she is back from the dead ;)

So I've decided that I'm going to write a post related to all the pictures I have on my computer. This one is cute.

I looked it up when I was having a 'im-so-lonely' moment... :(

Been having a few of those lately

But more often I'm having 'im-so-confused' moments

Such is life

much love

10:4

ebay reject page

Hey guys

As some of you know I have a ebay account and sometimes things dont sell. So I've made a blog that showcases the stuff that doesnt go on ebay. There is not much there at the moment but be sure to watch the space :)

Thanks heaps

Also I think that Abi will have some of my stuff up on her site as well :) If you dont end up catching it there it'll eventually end up on my site :)

much love

10:4

I think I'm going to be ok

So my friend that I made at uni dropped out

And 3 of my good friends dont go to my church anymore

and in the name of maturity I have told another very very good friend that I can no longer have communication with him

and my other friends have their own lives and problems

I cannot continually rely on them

and yet, strangely enough I feel content with my life

well, my social life

My academic life could be better. I not doing as well as I should be :( well I dont think so. Hopefully my assignment mark will reflect the effort I put in. I'm scared I didnt answer the question.

But to make up for lack of motivation I have started to study for my upcoming assignment. Mostly because I am on my 3 hour break at uni :(
Curse you 11 lecture and 3pm tutorials :P

Much love

10:4

A little help from my thrifty friends :)

So Abi has kindly let me put some stuff on her friperie blog

(in exchange for free advertising of course)

So be sure to check it out :)

much love

10:4

when no one is listening

So is it crazy to send something to someone knowing they dont know it exists? Like sending a letter when they dont check their mailbox? Or emailing them when they dont check it? Or messaging the wrong number?

Is that weird. To deliberately do it so they wont know until later? Or you hope for the best that one day they'll randomly find it?

Thats weird

I watched hitchcock's psycho the other day

It was creepy. Not scary but creepy

anyways

much love

10:4

Text msg

'...Stay strong and please pray for me :)'

Verbatim

How can I stay mad at that?

much love

10:4

Wishing you were somehow here again...

I've always wanted the words of that song to relate to my life

And its in that wishing that I feel I am betraying my family

but in denying my emotion I am betraying my heart

and I know from growing up in church

that the heart is wicked, who can know it?

But is it totally wicked?

Yes its capeable of imagining up horrible and unmentionable things

but what about when you've invested in someones life?

And your hoping for the best for them?

But you cant be there and you hope they have the strength to pull through anyway?

Is that your soul feeling? or your heart?

All you can do is pray

i guess

and dont look back

much love

10:4

p.s shout out to jason (: as he visited me and grace at uni today!

Ebay and philosophy readings

So I made a ebay account to sell some of my crap (partially inspiration from Abi =] )
AND ITS SO BLOODY ADDICTING!!!!
I went on to SELL and I end up what? BUYING! I've been sitting on the computer half the day when I have philosophy readings to do....
But the possibility of buying a $1 roxy maxi dress and a $500 macbook is waaaaaaay too tempting!
I got a haircut the other day
its different, he cut my fringe so it always dries straight! The dude is a genius! He comes from Jordan and has only been here 2 weeks.
Anyway.
This is very different from my vent the other day
I apologise for the deepness.
rawr
did you scared? hehe
So I told my most favouritest person in the world that we cant talk for a while
hes still my favouritest
and i think he always will be
im not saying that blinded. I'm saying it with eyes wide open and future in mind.
sometimes its a matter of saying, 'not right now, but definately later'

much love
10:4 :)

cute photo

lonely no more?

Isnt it weird how you can be surrounded by a vast amount of people and yet feel lonely?

I think its really weird to have someone say 'i love you' and yet feel totally unloved...or be able to brush the statement off...

Isnt it weird that you can be 'fine' and yet tears are just below the surface?

You know your weird when you slow down your walk so you can hear strangers talk about retainers. Only to have them overtake you.

Sometimes I feel like all have walked out. But then i remeber those who havnt. And I can take them for granted. and when im with them i want to block out all reality. im sorry i do that to you.

i have this problem with problems...

i tend not to like facing them

closing my eyes, hands over ears....la la la I cant hear you

--and everything is exploding in your face and you pretend its not there

you put on a smile and listen to others talk about their tool boyfriends

----right now i dont care, but tell that to my face

yeah i'm all good :)

i hope this doesnt freak anyone out. i'm just writing as i think :)

can we start again?

much love

10:4