and so it was my birthday yesterday...

It was the best day ever!

Movie with nic and a special someone. Saw sherlock holmes and is far better than avatar, I'm not kidding guy richie is a fantastic director. And the acting was absolutely brilliant! I would go see it a second time.

Then kfc for lunch.

Then my yiayia's where she gave me a watch with a matching bracelet, really pretty.

The tv veg out at her house

Uncle and gf sang happy birthday on the phone

then for dinner revolving resturaunt in blacktown. It was really pretty actually :)

thanks to everyone who msgd me :)

much love

10:4

And so its my birthday tomorrow...

I will begin my 18th year as an existing person. Yay! and not so yay...the whole 'being responsible' thing is making me nervous.

I might go buy a beer, just cuz I can. lol...no actually I wont. My plans for tomorrow include wearing my Sass dress I got from david jones (on sale) going to the movies and eating lunch at the blacktown food court with my brother....yes a glamorous way to spend my birthday. And I think at night I will be having dinner at the revolving resturaunt in blacktown. yup, its all a typical westies birthday :)

Well I have nothing interesting to say, so I will be off.

boring life that I have *sigh*

I'll update you on my birthday later on tomorrow :)

much love

shout out to elle (just for fun...and to see if she's actually reading ;])

10:4

Avatar is not the next 'Titanic'

As epic as everyone states it is, it was ok. A bit of a let down for me. I think it was overly political. A good movie (in my opinion) either scares the crap out of you, makes you feel better, or takes you to a place where you forget the real world. But the real world was not forgotten in this film.

Anyway, next time I will see sherlock holmes.

So my peircing on my ear has bubbled up. And I like this one more than the other side...so I'm annoyed. Its either infected or my body is rejecting it. Now if its rejecting my right side, why is it not rejecting the other? I think its infected cuz its hot and when I put the antiseptic stuff on it it stings. So annoying. And cuz I sleep on my side it hurts more.

Anyway, christmas was awesome and it came just as quick as it went.

must be off

much love

10:4

what you do when your bored

you write random stuff. you find out the top baby names of the decade*. you google top 10 songs of the decade. you google your name. (did you know Arietta is a canadian band and a wine brand and a place in New York?) You google the top Christmas songs of the decade*. And put your iPod on shuffle to find out what you actually have on there, not just listening to your 'recently added playlist'. Maybe I should do the washing for mum. Give me something to do. But I really dont feel like it.

anyway

much love.

10:4

*Top girls' names of the decade
1. Emma
2. Emily
3. Madison
4. Isabella
5. Ava

Top boys' names of the decade
1. Aiden
2. Jacob
3. Ethan
4. Matthew
5. Nicholas

*The top 10 most played Christmas songs of the noughties:
1. ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU Mariah Carey (1994)
2. FAIRYTALE OF NEW YORK The Pogues (1987)
3. MERRY XMAS EVERYBODY Slade (1973)
4. STOP THE CAVALRY Jona Lewie (1980)
5. DO THEY KNOW IT'S CHRISTMAS? Band Aid (1984)
6. DRIVING HOME FOR CHRISTMAS Chris Rea (1988)
7. LAST CHRISTMAS Wham (1984)
8. I BELIEVE IN FATHER CHRISTMAS Greg Lake (1975)
9. STEP INTO CHRISTMAS Elton John (1973)
10. WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS TIME Paul McCartney (1979)
Source: PPL & PRS for Music

p.s for all those interested. Im feeling better than I was in my last post. :) Everything is much lighter today.

questioning life

So I cleaned my yiayia's house this morning. And got a dental thingo. Mum thought I would have to get braces but turns out I dont. The dentist asked if my teeth bothered me. I said no. So he said he doesnt like to do braces on people who dont care cuz they dont take care of their teeth or something. But whatever. I dont mind either way.

So I've been thinking really hard about some things in my life. Like me. How I am as a person. What I want for my future. Who I want to spend my future with. Stuff like that. Pretty heavy stuff. And I've made my decision to wait. I need to grow, others need to grow. There is a lot of room for improvement. I'm not cutting anyone out of my life. Just taking it slow. But I want everyone to know that its my decision. Its not based on what anyone else wants. Its my life and I have to live with it. Thats why I want people to know that I'm making the decision. I want to make it for myself, not for anyone else. I want to get to the end of my life and have no regrets. I want to look back 20 years from now and be happy with my choices. I want to make the choice because then I am wholly responsible. I cant blame anyone else. I dont want to get used to blaming someone else.

I guess there is many things I dont want to get used to. things like. lying. death. loneliness. blaming others. etc.

So...on a lighter note. I saw abi and carlo yesterday in the shop. Pretty cool. lol.

Also I wanted to say a very big thank you to a very special friend of mine. Recently she told me how much I meant to her. (Hopefully it was me she was talking about ;] ) Thanks for having my back. You know so much about me and thanks for reminding me how much I'm loved. You dont understand how timely that was :) Love you very muchly.

So now that I have everything off my chest I must be off.

Nails done this arvo after 3 weeks (regrowth looks disgusting) stupid pastors christmas dinner tonight (I have no idea what to wear as the fashion/spiritual police will be there....hmmm elle can I borrow an outfit lol....I think you'll know exactly what I should wear) and then like 2 days until CHRISTMAS! Yay! How exciting :)

much love

10:4

HSC and fashion jewellery

So I did ok in my marks. I got a lot higher than expected :) mostly 80 and two in the 70's but I did ok. My ATAR was high 70's. I was hoping to get into the 80's but whatever, teachers dont have to be that smart anyway. lol.

So here's a pic of the blue wog lady necklace

You cant see it but the top says 'fashion jewellery' and in my opinion if you have to proclaim to the world that your fashion jewellery then, I'm sorry hun, your not.

You know whats weird though. It was starting to grow on me. But I just looked at it again and there is no chance in hell I would be wearing it.

Anyway....

As I have nothing interesting to say, im going.

much love

10:4

:)

and I'm finally back

So after a (unintentional) week break I'm talking again. So much has happened. Uninteresting things happened, like working and cleaning the damn house. And interesting things like going to wollongong with my good friend minus the parents! Yay! lol...and it was funny as at the hotel they had free dvd hire at reception and being two girls who grew up without a tv we watched about 8 different movies. lol...shamefull and lame I know.

We saw 17 again which was quite interesting. I thought it would be lame as it included plastic fantastic zac efron but you know it wasnt that bad. I actually cried. and I dont cry in movies.

Out of the 8 I would have to say my fav was the 90's flick she's all that typical chick flick; jock gets dumped by popular gf + jock gets dared to date nerdy art girl + nerdy art girl hates him + jock falls in love + dare becomes public knowledge + nerdy art girl heartbroken + jock says sorry = nerdy art girls first kiss + happily ever after.

The funny thing about chick flicks is the way we (try to) apply them to our lives. Not only do we relate to the nerdy loner we desperately crave the attention of the jock (or any male for some). Dont get me wrong I'm not dissing girls who do that cuz I am one. Though as we examine reality we find were not that nerdy, and guys are not that fantastic. shock horror, who thought it would be possible that guys are not all they're cracked up to be. I'm not turning lezzo or hoping to become a nun. I'm in what could be called a 'relationship' and I use that term loosely. And though sometimes guys can be absolutely fantastic, they can be downright dimwitted jerks.

But enough of my male species rant (yes they are a species as they cannot possibly be of the same race) HSC results come out tomorrow and ATAR day after that. I think I'll be relieved as I'll finally be able to see if I'm worth the effort put in :P i say that in jest. It will be a relief though to get my marks, to see if exams reflect my assessment marks.

We have a bible study christmas party tonight. secret santa. yay. fingers crossed for no blue wog lady necklace. the thing is haunting me. I might post a photo later :)

much love

10:4

so annoying....

Ok, I'm going to vent about a lame as present I got.

Its a blue wog lady necklace and earrings. Usually I would not say anything and simply regift BUT the person who gave me the prez invited themselves to my party.

I mean please people if your going to invite yourself to a party at least get the best present ever so the birthday girl forgets you invited yourself. OR you should invite yourself because you have an awesome present.

I guess prezzies were a success as I only got two photoframes. haha. One was from Ben, just to annoy me. And one was from a person who was once my friend but we've drifted apart. To be fair I got her a photoframe. But jewelery as well...

anyway....

I bought leopard print pj shorts today (i love cotton on body)

i must be off :)

much love

10:4

wow

So my party was pretty cool. Speeches were quite nice, though I didnt cry as I thought I would. heartless woman that I am. So I got some pretty cool prezzies. Yay!

I think I probs should address the previous post. Thanks elle and mel for looking out for me. Fortunately everything worked out, its fine, just a slip up. But as rafiki famously said...

yes, the past can hurt. But you can either run from it, or learn from it.

...for me I'm going to learn. And so are they.

This is going to be heaps short as I have gone to bed at 4am two nights in a row and have woken up at 8am each of the mornings. I seriously dont know how Abi does it. :) love you abz

much love

10:4

its when you start trusting people they crap all over you

When your best friend does something stupid. That hurts you. Is it wrong not to reject them? dw its not anyone who reads this blog, they dont even exist in cyberland actually.

Is it possible to forgive but still hurt?

Is forgiveness sudden, or is it a process?

and...


Is it classified as cheating if you never were officially going out in the first place?


10:4

I'm over my midnight sookie la la but I'm still bored

Only 2 days until my party! I'm so excited. (incase you couldnt tell from like the hundred other posts of me talking about my party) I have a bunch of photos I'm putting up...recent and baby. I have this weird period where I have little to no photos, Its the year 9 stage. I have almost no photos of it. Which is quite interesting actually.

I'm bored so I repainted my nails. Listened to Christmas carols and ate breakfast. I wrapped Christmas presents and rsvp-ed to a party. All that only took me 2 hours. So now I'm posting as no one is replying to my msgs. Such is life.

Well I dont have anything of importance to say so I'm going. Dont want to say something stupid. (as if I'm capeable of saying something stupid ;) )

much love

10:4

What you do when your bored

I just did this cuz Im totally bored

It would be easier being emo

Because I'm in a sookie mood, due to boredom, missing a certain person too much and just simply being depressed I'm going to have a big sookie lala. deal with it. I dont care if you dont read it, as it most probably be worthless to you, but I need a vent.

Other than doing absolutely nothing today I found out that not only did I have the oppotunity to see him next week but that opportunity has been taken away from me. My parents see but do not understand and/or acknowledge. Believing I am a delusional teenager (which I mostly am) I am being weaned off what I want. Meaning today I acted like a total brat. Just because I felt like it and I wanted to.

Also, I realised today after 14 years that not having a tv absolutely SUCKS! I know took me a while but, its in these tough times that you just want to vegitate and pretend the rest of the world doesnt exist. TV is like dope, or alcohol in that aspect. It has a dulling effect, which is perfectly good when needed. I would call a friend and say can I come over, but really I would go over, convince her to watch movies she doesnt want to watch and vegitate for 6 hours. Say goodbye. Thanks for having me over. Not only is that totally selfish, but I would also be losing my friend y using her. Which wouldnt be a good thing as friends is what I need right now. I think friends have the same numbing effect tv has.

You see the simple solution would be to go buy a dvd, or just go to the movies the problem with that is a) I have no money and b) i look like a loser when I walk into the movie theatres alone. And walking into a movie alone makes me feel even more, well, lonely....funny that. The thing is feeling loney is often that a feeling. Emotions, which as a woman I have always based my life decisions on. I guess growing up you must learn that not everything can be based on feelings. Like I can feel lonely but live in a house with 5 people (and a dog), have over 50 contacts in my phone and know any of my school friends who I have not seen would be happy to take my call. The only thing that is stopping me from that call is the feeling that if I sook to them, then there going to be like 'and once again she just called me to have a sook' and I feel like a loser.

When does someone cross the line from confiding to a friend to being just plain annoying and a complainer? Thats the last thing I would ever want. To be known as the one who complains. Maybe its my insecurity, maybe its pride, but its how I feel. (once again feelings come before rational thought)

So its almost the middle of the night and I'm already regretting having an hour nanna nap this afternoon. That means laying awake, listening to my 'sookie lala' songlist on my iPod, knowing my phone is only in the other room and at any time I could get up, message him and he'd call. But I'm too scared to. Its when your in a limbo. I hate limbos. Both the feeling and the game. Both are pointless.

Well my party is in 3 days time. And dad reckons its going to rain. Its going to be heaps fun. 70 people packed into our double garage. It'll be fun at least, a birthday to remember. The days are going too slow. I'm so glad I'm working thursday. its only 11-2, like the shortest shift in the world. But at least it'll make my day go faster. Wont it??

I'm sure your sick of my voice inside your head. Must be off to sit in a limbo in my room (see previous paragraph)

much love
10:4

ps for those who got this far I congratulate you on actually getting through this gibberish. Go watch a movie and vegitate your brain for a while. Maybe you can forget all that was said. ;)

December!

Yipee! December is here! That mans Christmas AND my birthday. December is hands down the best month of the year!! I love December more for Christmas I think. The whole atmosphere of friends and family and food. Thats what I absolutely love about having a Greek Christmas. The lamb, stuffed with savoury rice. The roasted potato. The garlic dip. The salads, the various cold meats, feta, olives.....caviar! The pastizzi and pastizzo...the list is never ending. I absolutely love love love Greek food! Though I dont speak the languge (I can understand I just dont believe how I speak it does the language justice) or attend the Greek Orthodox Church every sunday I believe that I am in essence, Greek. I have no other blood in me, as all my grandparents are/were from Greece and so I'm full blooded. Its interesting though that most people mistake me for italian, not Greek looking. Not that I'm offended, italians are mostly good eye candy ;)





Our next door neighbour is italian. Shes a good cook. But her husband is crazy. He cut down half our trees because there was bushfires in Victoria and he got scared that his house would burn down because of our trees. I think he's just old and confused. He's in a nursing home now. His wife lives in their 5 bedroom, two story, marble staircase, 3 loungeroom, 2 kitchen house, which is next door. Its absolutely woggy inside.





But part of me likes woggy, just because it reminds me of my yiayia (grandma). I pretty much spent the first 4 years of my life living at her house. She is the best ever! And even better, I'm her favourite out of all the grandchildren as I have her name. There are benifits in being named after your grandmother. I see it as an honour as well. Though I may not look like her or have inherited her blue eyes, her exccentric dressing or her dressmaking skills I want to be like her. She endlessly serves, without complaint (well she complains about my papou but hes a grump so I dont blame her) and for a woman brought up in the 30s and 40s she is very strong minded, she knows what she wants. She was willing to give up the Greek dream of having a family and go against the expectations of her own family, to study nursing and become a nun to help those less fortunate. She is a woman who endured German occupation of Greece and saw the atrocities they did to the Greek people and she still puts on a brave face everyday. She just had her gallbladder taken out and yet she was happy to sit with me and tell me off for my (lack of) sewing skills, and then stopped to help me. She is the most incredible woman I have ever met and I hope one day that I will be just like her. Tacky clothing and all :)

This is my yiayia (and papou)

10:4 :)